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Finish him!
Amateur chiropractors of Earthrealm rejoice! Mortal Kombat X (opens in new tab) is almost upon us, bringing with it a whole new slew of spine-shattering Fatalities. But is that still enough match-ending gimmickry to compete, 23 years after Sub-Zero first tore off a hapless head? MK3’s Brutalities are making their comeback (opens in new tab) in MKX, but with Friendship and Babality finishers currently nowhere to be seen, we could do with a bit more variety.
What these fight-ending ‘konclusions’ really need is a good old kick up the bum. Metaphorically speaking, of course. No-one needs to see Sub-Zero’s anus collapsing via slow-mo x-ray. Give us some madcap variety, NetherRealm! Crack open a dictionary, thumb your way through, find something that the MK announcer would love to utter – preferably ending in ‘ity’ – and have at it! That’s what this big list is all about. More exciting climaxes than an evening spent at Hustler HQ Enjoy.
Absurdity!
Player One hands Player Two a bowling ball entirely composed of soap slivers and signed photos of MC Hammer, served in a man’s hat.
Ambiguity!
Player One dons the costume of a Southern Bavarian pig farmer, proceeds to perform a lengthy and poorly choreographed interpretive dance number.
Biodiversity
Player One treats his enemy to a nice day out at the wildlife park, telling him it’s a petting zoo
Electricity!
Player One straps his foe with a lifelike Thomas Edison mask, before summoning up the vengeful spirit of Nikola Tesla. Let the genital-shocking shenanigans begin!
Exclusivity!
Player One invites their opponent to a swanky new club, but ‘forgets’ to add them to the guest list.
Facility!
Player One wheels out an old CRT TV and a Nintendo 64. They opt to settle their differences with a single game of GoldenEye. No Oddjobs.
Flaccidity!
Player One can’t quite seem to advance up the ‘living tower’. *winking intensifies*
Fraternity!
Player One forces Player Two to perform several humiliating rituals. It later turns out that ‘Tau Psi Alpha Tau’ isn’t a real frat at all.
Generosity!
Player One offers Player Two a place to stay, at least until he can get back on his feet. Also, Player One just sheared him in half.
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