30 bizarre Netflix descriptions to live by

If you like Netflix, you’ll love this

Thinking about the people who write Netflix’s movie and TV descriptions makes you wonder where you were when those jobs were advertised. It’s every movie fan’s dream. Consuming a stream of titles before summing them up in just a few appealing and informative sentences, which can sometimes be as entertaining as the movies themselves.

No longer just straightforward synopses, Netflix descriptions are now more like comedic verses, often poking fun at the more ridiculous titles and film flops. Some make tongue in cheek jokes about the actors, others offer a piece of worldly advice, and there’s even one that rhymes! Basically, someone at Netflix has been having too much fun (not that we’re jealous), and here’s the 30 Netflix descriptions to prove it. Warning: Don’t do everything Netflix tells you to, even if it sounds like a good idea during your Netflix and chill time.

30. Big Daddy (1999)

The Netflix description: “Want to prove to your girlfriend that you’re not an irresponsible slacker? Get a job, not a kid.”

The life lesson: We’ve all seen the “a dog is for life, not just for Christmas” adverts: the same applies here. For your actions to warrant romantic attention it’s best to earn your keep through more realistic means.

29. Frank (2014)

The Netflix description: “In a band led by a papier-mache head, a so-called outcast better bring it. Let’s have a toast to the weirdos.”

The life lesson: Be warned; if you’re in a band being weird by donning a craft project on your bonce isn’t enough – you’ve got to go the extra mile or receive lots of snark.

28. Crocodile Dundee (1986)

The Netflix description: “New York City’s a rough place. But a guy who wrestled a croc to the ground might have a slight edge on a mugger.”

The life lesson: Tussling with angry reptiles is akin to battling a New York City thief? Yeah, that sounds about right.

27. Children of The Corn (1984)

The Netflix description: “In a small town populated solely by kids brandishing scythes, adults are welcomed. With open graves.”

The life lesson: Don’t stop off in small towns during your cross-country road trip – no matter how picturesque those endless rows of corn look.

26. Constantine (2005)

The Netflix description: “Plagued by demons, a private eye spends his day brooding. And trying to save the world from evil.”

The life lesson: No matter how much you try to help others, people (and Netflix) will solely focus on your character flaws.

25. The Faculty (1998)

The Netflix description: “Your science teacher’s out for blood and sprouting tentacles. Now’s probably not the time to bring up your grade.”

The life lesson: As astutely observed by this Netflix scribe, scholastic performance should be the least of your worries when facing a bodysnatcher in place of your chemistry teacher.

24. Flashdance (1983)

The Netflix description: “By day she welds metal. At night she bumps and grinds. Her dreams of becoming a dancer are on fire.”

The life lesson: If you’re a welder partial to a boogie, stardom might be round the corner. Failing that, plenty of night sweats due to a load of flame-scorched dreams.

23. Elizabethtown (2005)

The Netflix description: “The best way to get a new lease on life? Attend your father’s funeral with a winsome stewardess in tow.”

The life lesson: Netflix is trying to bring back ‘winsome’…

22. Scream 2 (1997)

The Netflix description: “The survivors from the first film go to college. Guess who tags along with them. Murder can really mess up your GPA.”

The life lesson: Focusing on academics is a trifle difficult when a knife-wielding maniac is on the loose.

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