17 ways the Batman v Superman fight could really go down

Pretty soon fans will get to see two of the biggest names in comic book history go head-to-head in the “greatest gladiator match” of all time, as Lex Luthor puts it, and everyone and their mum are taking bets on who’s going to win. But who’s to say it’s going to be a straight up victory for one and death/humiliation for the other? In fact, I can think of, oh… let’s say, 17 other ways the superhero fight could go down, and conveniently, they’re all below.

1. They give into the sexual tension and live happily ever after.

2. Wonder Woman smacks them both over the head and tells them to grow up. 

3. The pair realise they’re both orphans and have a good heart-to-heart/cry. 

4. Superman has to go save Lois (again!) and calls a time out.

5. They swap tips about cape care and rocking spandex before becoming BFFs.

6. Batman and Superman sit down and discuss their differences like sensible superheroes (it really would be better). 

7. They kill each other. Lex Luthor rejoices. 

8. Doomsday kills them both. Lex Luthor rejoices. 

9. They both kill Lex Luthor. Everyone rejoices. 

10. Batman is about to win when Beppo, the Super Monkey, brains him with a folding chair. Yes, it’s a thing.

11. They’re just about to get down to it when Iron Man arrives and tells them they have to sign the Superhero Registration Act. 

12. Captain America turns up and tells them they don’t have to.

13. Captain America and Iron Man fight. Oh, wait… wrong movie.

14. Batman can’t remember if he’s left the oven on or not and has to go check. 

15. Two words. Dance. Off.

16. Batman accepts Superman’s invitation to a party and then questions what kind of thing the Man of Steel is into after he wakes up in chains. 

17. Superman wins because, obviously…

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